"Z", It Seems

 

We that acquaint ourselves with ev'ry zone,

And pass the tropicks, and behold each pole;

When we come home, are to ourselves unknown,

And unacquainted still with our own soul.

-- John Davies

"Y" Plays the Tyrant

 

 

Love is your master, for he masters you:

And he that is so yoked by a fool,

Methinks, should not be chronicled for wise.

-- William Shakespeare

Unexampled "X"

Virtuous and vicious ev'ry man must be,

Few in th' extreme, but all in the degree;

The rogue and fool by fits is fair and wise,

And ev'n the best, by fits, what they despise.

-- Alexander Pope

"W" Makes A Wastrel

Young master next must rise to fill him wine,

And starve himself to see the booby dine.

-- William King

An Intervention of "V"

 

Sad accidents, and a state of affliction, is a school of virtue; it corrects levity, and interrupts the confidence of sinning.

-- Jeremy Taylor

Oh Unqualified "U"!

 

How can the muse her aid impart,

Unskill'd in all the terms of art?

Or in harmonious numbers put

The deal, the shuffle, and the cut?

-- Jonathan Swift

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"T" Tells a Tale

 

The bookful blockhead, ignorantly read,

With loads of learned lumber in his head,

With his own tongue still edifies his ears,

And always list'ning to himself appears.

-- Alexander Pope

"S" is for Seed Plot

 

The pestilent seminaries, according to their grossness or subtility, activity, or hebetude, cause more or less truculent plagues.

-- Gideon Harvey, A Discourse of the Plague

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The Restraint of "R"

 

 

 

Rhyme is a crutch that lifts the weak along,

Supports the feeble, but retards the strong.

-- Edmund Smith (1672-1710)

Piquant "Q"

 

 

What, are you dumb?

Quick, with your answer, quick,

Before my foot salutes you with a kick.

-- John Dryden

A Production from "P"

 

 

 

 

Here gathering Chroniclers, and by them stand

Giddie fantastique Poets of each land.

-- John Donne

"O" Casts a Shadow

 

 

But now these Epicures begin to smile,

And say, my doctrine is more safe than true;

And that I fondly do myself beguile,

While these receiv'd opinions I ensue.

-- John Davies

"N" Raises a Din

 

 

Vain show and noise intoxicate the brain

Begin with giddiness, and end in pain.

-- Edward Young

Mugged By "M" I Am

 

 

I'm stopp'd by all the fools I meet,

And catechis'd in ev'ry street.

-- Jonathan Swift

The Illusions of "L"

 

Strange coz'nage! none would live past years again,

Yet all hope pleasure in what yet remain;

And from the dregs of life think to receive

What the first sprightly running could not give.

-- John Dryden

A Knar of "K"

 

An honest man may take a knave's advice;

But idiots only may be cozen'd twice.

-- John Dryden

A Jabot of "J"

 

 

From this last toil again what knowledge flows?

Just as much, perhaps, as shows

That all his predecessor's rules

Were empty cant, all jargon of the schools.

-- Matthew Prior

Iambs for "I"

 

On ev'ry thorn delightful wisdom grows,

In ev'ry stream a sweet instruction flows;

But some untaught o'erhear the whisp'ring rill,

Inspite of sacred leisure, blockheads still.

-- Edward Young

A Ha'Penny for "H"

Half-wits are fleas, so little and so light,

We scarce could know they live, but that they bite.

-- John Dryden

A Gander at "G"

 

Mighty dulness crown'd,

shall take through Grub-street her triumphant round; 

And her Parnassus glancing o'er at once,

Behold a hundred sons, and each a dunce.

-- Alexander Pope