Phyllis Diller's short course in comparative religion

 I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui, and Deepak Chopra, but I find straight gin works best.

The light of day deceives us

Paint, patches, jewels laid aside,

At night astronomers agree,

The evening has the day bely'd,

And Phillis is some forty-three.

-- Matthew Prior